Living a Happy Married Life

Building a Successful Marriage

By Venerable Dr. K Sri Dhammananda

Success in marriage is based on compatiblity. Both partners must try to be the right person by acting out of mutual respect, love and concern for each other.

Love is an inner feeling and a fulfillment arising for the other person.

In a successful marriage, a partner must not always try to get things his or her own way. "Man has his will but woman has her way" . There is only one path to be trodden by both, it may be uneven, bumpy, and sometimes difficult but it is always a "mutual path".

A happy marriage is not one which we exist with eyes closed. We see faults as

well as virtues, and we accept the fact that no one is perfect. A husband and wife must learn to share the happiness and pain in their daily lifes. Mutual understanding is the secret formula of a happy marriage. Marriage is a blessing, but unfortunately, many people treat it otherwise due to lack of correct communication and understanding.

Most marital troubles which arise are normally due to an unwillingness of one partner to compromise and be patient with the other. The Golden rule to avoid a minor misunderstanding is to be :

• Patient
• Tolerant
• and understanding

Human beings are emotional and get into angry arguments easily. Husband and wife should do their utmost that both are not angry at the same time. This is the golden rule for a happy married life. If both parties are not angry at the same time, problem can easily resolved by adopting the noble spirit of patience, tolerance and understanding.

Husband should treat his wife with respect, understanding and consideration and not servant nor as a doll in his hands. Although he may be the bread winner of the family, it is also his duty to help his wife with household work whenever he is free. The wife, on the other hand, should not always nag or grumble at her husband over trivial matters. If he really has certain shortcomings, she should try to talk with him and point out his mistakes.

A spouse should try to tolerate and handle problems without bothering the partner, including those related to his or her career. If one is inclined towards jealousy, one must try to restrain suspicions over the partner's movements since they may not at all be justifiable.