Does ghost exist? Ever wonder what a spirit is?

In my understanding, there is good and bad sprits every where we go.
Just recently a friend of mind told me that she is being disturbed by a spirit who consistently waking her up every night in her sleeps. As her friend I understand that she wouldn’t joke about things like this. And in the past few days, staying with her I was also disturbed by the spirits and I could not understand where they come from and what they want and how should I get rid of them. I meditated and also chants but nothing seem to work. So I did a research on these spirits/ghosts. I studies really hard and also consulted some wiser teacher who have been practicing meditation.

Then today a wise man told me: Our mind is really powerful. It can connect us to the spirit’s world when we allowed it. When we think of it a lot, there is when we are giving out the signal to them to enter our mind, but if we train our mind not to think of the spirits then we are actually lowering the connection signal. And these spirits can not get through to our mind, so they will slowly disappear. Through meditation we can calm our mind and also free our self from habitual states of greed, hatred and delusion.

How to advance our understanding of mindfulness meditation and get deeper in to our practice?

Find a quiet place where you can be alone and lock the door so you can practice unaccompanied. Now take a sit on the floor with your leg fold up like the Buddha. When you are ready, close your eyes and breathe normally.

You can start watching your mind now, normally thoughts come in like a lightning when u starts to relax your body, don’t stop it from coming in but simply be aware that it is a thought. Try to observe your mind and see what his writing. The Choezen Kuchen Rinpoche (http://www.choezerinpoche.org/) said: “You should stop writing and watch who is writing”. You will find part of your thoughts were control by your mind.

We need to remember and understand that our mind does not belong to us. If you do not watch it, defilements will grow and multiply. We cannot leave the mind alone. It needs to be watched consistently. To helps deepen our understanding please refer to the book below.

Title of the book: Don’t look down on the Defilements
They will laugh at you
By Ashin Tejaniya 2008

What is Defilements?
Defilements are not only the gross manifestations of greed, hatred and delusion but also all little small thoughts that come in to your mind. See if you ever had one of the following or similar thoughts cross your mind:

“These lights should not be on at this time”
“His behaviour is so irritating”
“He should not have done that”
“I could do it a lot faster”
“I am a hopeless meditator, my mind cannot even stay on the rising-falling for one minute.”
“Yuck the salad had onion in it”
“No banana again”
All such thoughts are motivated by defilements!!
Don’t underestimate them!

Have you ever told someone you are not angry even though you are clearly unhappy with them? Do you talk negatively about your boos, a friend, your family or even a good friend? All such talk is motivated by defilements! Watch out for it!

With right attitude, it will allows you to accept, acknowledge and observe whatever is happening whether pleasant or unpleasant in a relax and alert way. You have to accept and watch both good and bad experiences. Every experience gives you a learning opportunity to notice whether the mind accepts things the way they are or whether it likes, dislikes, reacts or judges.

You are not trying to make things turn out the way you want them to happen. You are trying to know what is happening as it is. Wrong attitudes are caused by delusion. We all have them in our minds. All wrong attitudes are the defilements craving and aversion or any of their relatives such as elation, sadness or worry. Not accepting defilements will only strengthen them. The defilements hinder your progress in meditation and prevent you from living your life fully. They also prevent you from finding true peace and freedom. Don’t look down on defilements … they will laugh at you!

Look out for the defilements. Get to know the defilements that arise in your mind. Observe and try to understand them. Do not attach to them, reject or ignore them and do not identify with them. As you stop attaching to or identifying the defilements, their strength will slowly diminish. You have to keep double checking to see what attitude you are meditating with.

Living a Happy Married Life

Building a Successful Marriage

By Venerable Dr. K Sri Dhammananda

Success in marriage is based on compatiblity. Both partners must try to be the right person by acting out of mutual respect, love and concern for each other.

Love is an inner feeling and a fulfillment arising for the other person.

In a successful marriage, a partner must not always try to get things his or her own way. "Man has his will but woman has her way" . There is only one path to be trodden by both, it may be uneven, bumpy, and sometimes difficult but it is always a "mutual path".

A happy marriage is not one which we exist with eyes closed. We see faults as

well as virtues, and we accept the fact that no one is perfect. A husband and wife must learn to share the happiness and pain in their daily lifes. Mutual understanding is the secret formula of a happy marriage. Marriage is a blessing, but unfortunately, many people treat it otherwise due to lack of correct communication and understanding.

Most marital troubles which arise are normally due to an unwillingness of one partner to compromise and be patient with the other. The Golden rule to avoid a minor misunderstanding is to be :

• Patient
• Tolerant
• and understanding

Human beings are emotional and get into angry arguments easily. Husband and wife should do their utmost that both are not angry at the same time. This is the golden rule for a happy married life. If both parties are not angry at the same time, problem can easily resolved by adopting the noble spirit of patience, tolerance and understanding.

Husband should treat his wife with respect, understanding and consideration and not servant nor as a doll in his hands. Although he may be the bread winner of the family, it is also his duty to help his wife with household work whenever he is free. The wife, on the other hand, should not always nag or grumble at her husband over trivial matters. If he really has certain shortcomings, she should try to talk with him and point out his mistakes.

A spouse should try to tolerate and handle problems without bothering the partner, including those related to his or her career. If one is inclined towards jealousy, one must try to restrain suspicions over the partner's movements since they may not at all be justifiable.

The eight factors of the Path:

SALEM CUT

1. Right Speach
2. Right Action
3. Right Livelihood
4. Right Effort
5. Right Mindfulness
6. Right Concertration
7. Right Understanding
8. Right Thoughts

What is Life?

Buddha thought us four noble truths of life. "There is suffering in life, there is a cause of suffering, there is an end of suffering, and there is a path of practice that puts an end to suffering."

Buddha said the noble truth of suffering:
There are three form of stressfulness that causes suffering: Pain, Fabrication and Change
Pain: Association with the unloved is suffering
Fabrication: Not to get what you wants is suffering
Change: Separation from the loved one is suffering